How to Run a Game III: Organizing the Session

Now that you know you need to run a game to learn to run games, and that you have a vague idea of what to do, we need to organize the session. Now, you're doubtless thinking: "But Mailanka, I don't know what I'm actually going to run? All these other things talk about realistic NPCs depiction, or fair combat encounters, or character growth speeds, or fair rewards! Why aren't we talking about that?"  Well, first, I said this would be a long series.  But second, this is sort of like that meme where you've got students asking how to do their taxes or buy a home while teachers insist on reciting banal historical facts or mathematical equations: you need to understand the fundamentals of how to get your game running before you worry about what you're going to actually run.  If all you get from my series is how to put together an event and successfully do so, you're already leaps and bounds ahead of people who have mastered the monomyth, the three act structure and realistic dialogue but are unable to get people to show up to their house. It is better to be able to put together an event that brings people together to have a nice time chatting than it is to write the perfect story that nobody ever experiences.

I want you to mentally set aside RPGs for a moment, and focus on a tea party, not because I'm super into tea and crumpets, but because whatever works for organizing a tea party (or a dance or a night out bowling) will work for an RPG; the only real difference is the subject matter of the event, the reason for the event, but not all the organizing around it.  The reason I want you to think about this like a tea party is because I want you to be able to abstract any planning experience you have for other things and realize that it applies to planning an RPG as well.

Let's keep it simple and focus on the basics, like:

• People
• Space
• Time
• Mood
• Your purpose

People

You can't have your Tea Party without people. So, who do you invite?  Obviously, the only people who want to come to a Tea Party are people who like tea, but they also generally need to like one another.  They might not know one another yet, of course, but they need to like one another once they meet up, otherwise, your tea party is doomed.  You also need to decide how many.  Too few and you feel like you're drinking tea alone or that you have nobody to talk to.  Too many, and you feel like you're in a crowd, and you end up drinking tea alone with nobody to talk to (and even if you could, they couldn't hear you over the buzz of the crowd).

An RPG isn't really any different, except for one key element (setting aside that it's not about tea).  The purpose of a tea party is ultimately about having conversation (the tea is incidental), while the purpose of an RPG is, you know, the RPG, and in particular, RPGs tend to rely on engagement with the GM (in a sense, it's better to compare it to split-screen couch gaming: everyone needs to fit in a relatively small space, and they need access to the thing that provides the game).  This tends to sharply limit the number of people you can reasonably invite, at least to a table top RPG: it should be enough people to create interesting gameplay (you can get by with one or two players, but I find less than three tends to feel empty) and you shouldn't have more than the GM can handle; this latter number varies a lot, depending on the sort of game you're running, how much attention each player requires from the GM, and how well the GM can handle the group.  More than about 6 players, and I find people start to have a hard time fitting around the table, reaching the minis or the dice, getting the GM's attention, or talking over one another.  4-5 seems to be the sweet spot for most games, and in computer programming, we call this "the pizza rule," that a team should be no larger than could be fed by a pizza (or two pizzas, depending on how hungry everyone is), which also puts you at about 4-6 people, which is also a good number for more collaborative events.

So, we can have 3-6 players in most cases.  Where do we find them?  Well, you can ask around your friends and family (they tend to be pretty amenable to it, if you're not overly annoying about it), or you can do what most people do when seeking interesting people: go to where those people tend to aggregate and ask around.  If you have a Friendly Local Gaming Store, that's pretty ideal, because then you can regularly interact with fellow gamers.  RPGer associations and clubs also tend to also facilitate finding good players.  If neither are available to you, seek an online community.  If you have to turn to the internet, you may have to surrender the idea of a "classic" tabletop experience, but the internet is loaded with tools to help you, and online gaming is the only socially acceptable way to game in your PJs without taking a shower, so it has some perks!

Finding players isn't enough, you need to find good players that won't rip one another apart.  That's pretty key in all events too, especially tea parties: these people need to get along.  Most gamers are geeks, and geeks tend to feel being ostracized is basically one of the worst things ever, and thus the seek to create "safe spaces" where people feel "accepted," but be careful with this approach.  The truth is, some people have a very high social "cost" to deal with.  They're demanding, or they're frustrating, or they're time or energy sinks that will suck all the oxygen out of your game.  If you've gamed before, you've doubtlessly experienced an otherwise great game that was ruined by "That Guy."  Your job as a player is to not be "that guy," but your job as a GM is to not invite "that guy," and honestly, not every game even needs "that guy" in it.  It is totally possible to have a game where everyone gets along great and contributes.  Sure, you'll always have varying levels of social skills and people will be up and down in their moods and levels of contribution, but you don't need to tolerate straight-up assholes, you really don't.

My experience with these difficult people is that most of it comes down to maturity and "soft skills," how well they get along with other people.  You can usually filter these out pretty quickly with some competency tests.  Just sit down and talk to these people, or watch them game with others (most FLGSes also feature other sorts of games, like mini-wargaming that you can watch).  Things to watch out for:

• Tends to turn the conversation towards themselves, their interests and their accomplishments
• They have a tendency to blame others or outside forces for misfortune in their life
• Sore-losers
• Bragging
• Substance abuse
• Tends to talk over people
• Perpetually late
• Tends to argue and refuses to compromise (they "have to be right")
• Shifty/deceptive, such as stealing from other players or cheating
• Inability to remember basic rules or take a very long time making a decision
• A lot of pleading that they're special cases or need special assistance all the time
• They make you feel weird or uncomfortable
• A lot of people warn you away from that person

These aren't necessarily deal breakers, but if you see a few of them lining up together, you might want to avoid them.  On the other side, there are some traits that you should seek out from a good player:

• They tend to listen and/or ask questions to get to the heart of what someone else is trying to say
• Actively participate in the social group
• They take time out to explain things to people
• They lose gracefully
• They worry about details that impact others (such as making sure the change is exactly right, or they really worry about being on time, etc)
• They notice when other people seem to feel excluded and invite them in
• They bring snacks or spare books or other things that help people out
• You like being around them
• Other people say they're cool/nice/a good player

It's possible to have these traits and still be a jerk, but they tend to be good signs.  Most people are a mixed bag, of course, and so you'll always have to make a judgement call.  These tend, largely, to reflections of one's empathy and conscientiousness which are the traits you're looking for here (as well as a little decisiveness, because the last thing you want are players sitting around shrugging, unable to figure out what it is they want).  If you find that you, personally, tend to skew towards the former more than the latter (though my experience with such people is that they rarely know that they do; a sure sign, though, is if you often find yourself disinvited from things...), fret not: you can learn soft skills.  It's not easy, but it can be done. 

Having "good" players is not enough, they need to like one another.  This is often a freebie among friends, but if you're collecting a new group, consider seeing if you can get them together before hand, like invite them all out for some food or something and see how they interact.  Things might emerge that you didn't expect (for example, two perfectly nice people might be opposed on political ideology and end up arguing strenuously on this topic all the freaking time, and they might even have interesting arguments, but it might distract from the game). Seeing how people interact can inform a lot about your game and whether it will work.  I have personally had games fail because I tossed together random people "who were interested" from the internet together and then watched it go down in flames as they spent all their time arguing with one another and then fighting me when I didn't take one side or the other.

The hard truth is, your group is not going to be perfect.  People are going to rub up against one another.  The worse your group is, the more you'll have to step in and intervene, and the more that will "cost" you.  It can be done, but it takes experience.  Realize that sometimes your games will fail not because of anything you did, but because your players just didn't get along or couldn't show up or what have you.  That's one of the reasons this step is so crucial. But even when you have bad players, it's possible to succeed, especially if you can find ways to minimize their anti-social tendencies (if you find your players tend to forget their character sheets, keep spares, for example), and leverage your good players to cover for the bad players (sit the guy who's memorized the entire book next to the fellow who can't even remember what die to throw; sit the two political arguers away from one another so they're less likely to start arguing, etc).  When you find a truly great player, someone who helps lead others and helps guide/mentor others, make sure you stay on his good side and keep him happy, as he can help carry a lot of the weight for you.

Space

Okay, so you have your players.  Where will you play?  If you want a "classic" tabletop experience, you'll need a table and the space to play.  If you own your own house, that makes life easier, or you can play at the FLGS, etc.  If you're online, all you need is your computer and a digital space to occupy.

This isn't an especially hard step to do, but you'll need to do it nonetheless.  Some questions to ask:

• Are you sure your space is available? Did you check?
• If your space is shared, is there some sort of reservation system? Did you remember to reserve your space?
• Is there enough room in your space for all of your players and whatever props you want to use and whatever snacks you want to supply?
• If you're using a digital space, have you tested to verify that everyone can connect? Can you talk to one another online? It doesn't hurt to test it out, and to make sure whatever server you have can handle the load.

Time

When are you going to play?  If you're some high school kid or are unemployed or retired, you have nothing but time, but as you get older, you often have to deal with family and jobs and relationships and other commitments that makes finding time hard.

I highly recommend cultivating your scheduling skills.  Google Calendar and other, similar tools allow for sharing of schedules and working out when people are available and when they are not.  Try to timebox your session (I find 3-6 hours is pretty good, though I tend towards shorter sessions rather than longer ones, but if you find you're gaming very rarely, a single longer session might be better).  If you are running a long session, think about food.  Realize that if you have very long periods between sessions, people may well forget what happened, so having a re-cap before each session helps a lot, or making your sessions self-contained episodes helps a lot too.  

Real life happens, and even if everything is perfectly scheduled, someone's kid is going to get sick, or someone's dad is going to die, or someone is going to decide this is too much for them, or they're going to have a hangover or whatever.  Don't build you campaign around a single person.  You should be able to handle losing as many people as possible.  Sometimes it's unavoidable, but the less you need any particular character or player, the more resilient your game will be. I've had games that shrunk down to 2-3 reliable players because they were the only ones who showed up, and when that's the case, I recommend biting the bullet and running for them: it rewards them for showing up, it's a good object lesson in resilience, and, hey, you're running a game!

When you're finished with your session, be sure to revisit the scheduling of the next session right away!  You'll want to remind your players of their commitment and get a sense of who will be joining in the next one.  BEFORE a session, send out reminders.  People often forget, and it's better to learn that someone has forgotten and scheduled something else a few days before the session than it is on the day of the session.

Mood

So, you've got your players, your space and your session scheduled.  You need to keep everyone happy.  This brings us back to our tea party example: the tea party isn't really about the tea, it's about the conversation. In a lot of ways, tea parties are actually a lot like an RPG, in that you could host an RPG at a tea party.

In both cases, you want to create an inviting environment.  Try to cut out any unwanted sounds.  Create a sense of isolation from the rest of the world, a so called "safe" or "creative" space where people can relax and pretend to be orcs and elves or whatever without fearing being laughed at for being a dork.  Provide creature comforts like cozy chair and especially food.  People tend to be more relaxed and sociable when well fed!  Food can also serve to promote a particular vibe: doritos, pizza and mountain dew creates a strong "gamer vibe," while ethnic food from your particular setting creates a greater sense of immersion in the setting.  I often find players (the good ones anyway) bring their own snacks, which helps create a sense of camaraderie.  Drinks are especially important, as people will be talking a lot and this will dry their mouths out.  Consider pop, tea, hot chocolate or just a big jug of water, especially on a hot summer's day.

Music and props can also set the mood, such as decorations or minis.  Try to avoid distracting your players: you'll need to talk over Kenny Login's "Into the Danger Zone," no matter how fun it is, but soft, setting-appropriate ambient noise goes a long way towards helping your players get into the mood.  

Try to minimize distractions.  "No Mobile Phones at the game" is a very good rule, since mobile phone apps are designed to be as distracting and addictive as humanely possible. Chit-chat and "kibitzing" is trickier: friends getting together to chat, especially before the session, is valuable bonding time, and so is worth encouraging. Cross-talk in a session is less valuable and can be distracting, but sometimes brings moments of much needed levity to otherwise intense moment. You also really can't stop the Star Wars or Monty Python quotes; they're going to happen.  One skill you'll need to perfect is how to grab your players' attention when you need it.  It's not so much that you can prevent all distractions; they'll happen, but you need to create an environment where they're organically minimized to an acceptable level, and then when the group gets out of hand, you can bring them back in line in a relatively easy way.

Purpose

The point of all of this is, of course, to game.  Or, at least, that's the justification.  What you'll have created, if you do all of the above is, indeed, a nice little tea party. You have people that like one another in a nice cozy space snacking on their favorite snacks, chatting with one another.  It's great, and if that's all you accomplished, I'm sure they'd enjoy the experience.

But the purpose is to play a game.  We've only set the stage for playing that game, and now, we need to learn how to run the game.